not sure what to write or if any of this will be worthwhile but i'm writing again and on a desk and there is music and it just feels right. it's been much too long since i've let my fingers fly across a keyboard without loathing the output that my fingers put on-screen. Numbers don't have the elegance of words -- well, not the tedious everyday math that I do at work.
underwear drying on the broken rack, beer box needs to be recycled, vacuum needs to be cleaned, laundry is ever-present (though i just did the dishes), i need to sort out the food in the fridge and eat some of the perishables or store them or something so they're not wasted. but i also want to read hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy and probably also should read dorian gray. and to watch about thirteen-thousand things on Netflix, and also listen to Philosophize This and i've always had this problem where i can't focus on a single thing. i have these feelings of guilt for doing one thing for too long and it makes no sense from either end but they're there so there.
*
it makes no sense from either end
the place she's standing now
but that's the case
*
having trouble keeping a cohesive thought
so scattered this brain of mine
and i need to find a way to focus, focus
fuck: and all i need is that.
all i need is that.
there's no silver spoon in my mouth
but i had a spoon and that's enough
i'm happy where i am
even though i don't have any of the trappings of society --
the husband, the children, the house, the dream job --
i am finding myself
and that search, that journey
is as fun as my blind partying was
a mere decade ago
*
worked on a couple cover songs and i'm anxious about "chandelier" because frankly it just doesn't belong in my tiny apartment. also, it feels much too operatic to be a two-piece acoustic without being too over-the-top. i'm not committed to it, though my voice sounds beautiful in it.
i have surrounded myself with books, my dog, and music. the other things vary, though i'd like to get writing back into that because i'm made for it. whether or not it's successful, it's what i feel most confident and comfortable doing. i mean, not always...i've not succeeded in writing on-topic for long enough to write anything lengthier than a short story. most recently, it was just character studies. so i guess that's where i'll start: word-of-the-day lists.
underwear drying on the broken rack, beer box needs to be recycled, vacuum needs to be cleaned, laundry is ever-present (though i just did the dishes), i need to sort out the food in the fridge and eat some of the perishables or store them or something so they're not wasted. but i also want to read hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy and probably also should read dorian gray. and to watch about thirteen-thousand things on Netflix, and also listen to Philosophize This and i've always had this problem where i can't focus on a single thing. i have these feelings of guilt for doing one thing for too long and it makes no sense from either end but they're there so there.
*
it makes no sense from either end
the place she's standing now
but that's the case
*
having trouble keeping a cohesive thought
so scattered this brain of mine
and i need to find a way to focus, focus
fuck: and all i need is that.
all i need is that.
there's no silver spoon in my mouth
but i had a spoon and that's enough
i'm happy where i am
even though i don't have any of the trappings of society --
the husband, the children, the house, the dream job --
i am finding myself
and that search, that journey
is as fun as my blind partying was
a mere decade ago
*
worked on a couple cover songs and i'm anxious about "chandelier" because frankly it just doesn't belong in my tiny apartment. also, it feels much too operatic to be a two-piece acoustic without being too over-the-top. i'm not committed to it, though my voice sounds beautiful in it.
i have surrounded myself with books, my dog, and music. the other things vary, though i'd like to get writing back into that because i'm made for it. whether or not it's successful, it's what i feel most confident and comfortable doing. i mean, not always...i've not succeeded in writing on-topic for long enough to write anything lengthier than a short story. most recently, it was just character studies. so i guess that's where i'll start: word-of-the-day lists.
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